Saturday, February 26, 2011

Caution - Future Kindergarten Mothers

I walk into the cafeteria of my elementary school. There are rectangular tables surrounded by wooden chairs of various shapes, sizes, and styles.

I wait there, singing, swinging my legs, and waiting to be told to line up.

It is December. I am wearing my coat. (It is the coat that saved my life once.)

We are told to line up and after we are single file, we walk back to the kindergarten area. I stay in line, my ability to control myself while walking, increasing.

We enter the room, which is large enough to hold three classes. Our area was to the right of the door.

There are cabinets lined up behind all the tables along the right wall of the kindergarten area.

Everyone has to put away their lunches and coats. Our coats are hung up on these metal silver coat hangers. One by one, we all put our things away in an orderly fashion.

We all sit down.

This normal morning routine probably lasts 30 minutes.

And that is too long for me.

I promptly stand up, walk back to the coat cabinet and proceed to take everyone’s coat out, one by one, and drop them on the floor.

“Kara,” my teacher calls in her nice, sweet, placating voice. “Why are you dropping the kid’s coats on the floor?”.

“I don’t know,” I say.

But, of course, I know why I did it. School and I did not get along. And the more people tried to help me, the worse it got. I have always known my own mind. And I work through my problems, usually, on my own. So, if you leave me alone, you will get farther in helping me feel better.

But, how in the world would my teacher know that? Poor lady…

Saturday, February 19, 2011

July 7, 1981

Jo’s third child, the one they had the baby shower for, was born on this day. I don’t know what day of the week it was. It was probably the perfect day of the week and at the perfect time of the day. Because Jo’s third child is always perfect…


I am having the hardest time coming up with a name for her. Several have passed through my mind and I cannot settle on one, so we are going to have a discussion and we will see what happens at the end of this post.

Sunflowers remind me of her. Partly because her favorite color was yellow at one time. And partly because, when she smiles, her face is luminous. But, sometimes she can be grumpy, so calling her Sunshine may not be an option.

The character from Steel Magnolias, “Ouizer”, reminds me of her. But, she’s way cuter than that and usually a little nicer. Though, I can definitely see her saying, “I do not see plays, because I can nap at home for free. And I don't see movies 'cause they're trash, and they got nothin' but naked people in 'em! And I don't read books, 'cause if they're any good, they're gonna make 'em into a miniseries.”, in her old age.

She also has an affinity for my father and I named him Drummond…so…Ouizer is out.

She could swim at a very early age. I remember holding her in the pool and as long as you counted to three, she could go under the water with you at like 2 years old. She was on swim team when she got older. So, I thought about calling her Esther. You know, for Esther Williams, the bathing beauty of the 40s.

But Esther sounds too old ladyish for her.

You know, what she really is, though, besides perfect, and beautiful with a sunny smile, and blunt, and smart, is loyal. She is fiercely loyal. If you have the ability to capture her heart and her respect, then you have a friend for life.

I have no idea what her criteria is for liking someone, but she has it. And if you pass the test, you are probably a truly amazing person. So, I consider it an honor to be her favorite person…just kidding.

(She and Wendy were each other’s favorite people. They united against me, Maria, and Roxi many times. We were cool and they couldn’t take it.)

So, we shall call her Lela. It is French, meaning “loyal”.

(I am 75% sure she hates the name and hates that it is French.)

Saturday, February 12, 2011

A Kidnapping!

It is a day like any other.

M’Lynn (I have decided to call my mother this and my dad will be Drummond), Grace, and Jo get ready for the day. Their children are dressed and relatively clean. The car is packed.

And by 8:30 a.m., they are off to take their children to Mother’s-Day-Out. Another lovely program they helped start at our church. Only they usually couldn’t take advantage of its true purpose because they worked Mother’s-Day-Out.

But, not on this day. This day they were going to take some time to themselves.

Jo didn’t know that, though. She wasn’t aware a day of fun had been planned for her until M’Lynn and Grace came to her room and took her away.

Baby Shower Napped!

Jo was pregnant with her third child and the joyous upcoming event must be celebrated!

I have no idea where they went or what they did. But, they had fun!

I’m sure there was talking…laughing…shopping…eating…chocolate…carrot cake…tea…ice cream…pie…diet coke…chocolate…and dessert.

They took a day to themselves to celebrate the soon-to-be new arrival, to remember what it was like to walk into a store and not have to say, “Be still!”, “Don’t touch that!”, “No, I don’t have any snacks.”, etc.

I’m sure it was lovely to be able to open presents without little hands grabbing at the paper, and saying, “Mine, mine, mine!”.

Oh, what a day it was! Relaxation, rest, peace…


They returned and learned that Roxi had climbed a shelf and fallen down, knocking her two front teeth out and now her face was black and blue from the nose down.

Ahh, the joys of motherhood.

Friday, February 4, 2011

The Dark Day Continues

School did not get better for me. No matter how hard my mom and dad tried, no matter how many stickers, or check marks, or pieces of candy my teacher gave me, no one could prove its relevance.

I did not understand the worth of school, nor could I conceive of a time when I wouldn’t want to slide, swing, or play dodge ball.

A job? What would I need that for?

But, there was one good thing about Kindergarten…


And my favorite was the sandbox.

Yes, the school had a sandbox INSIDE. How awesome is that???? I found this to be very ingenious and proof that maybe my teacher wasn’t an idiot after all.

However, there were days when someone would beat me to the sandbox. (Only two people allowed at a time.)

So, I would console myself with the blocks, or with the small chalkboards.

One day I got stuck in the kitchen center with the other girls. I had to play dolls, and wash dishes, and eat pretend food. It was a horrible day.

There was another good thing about Kindergarten…

Dwayne Hart. He was pretty cute. And he had to be because look at what his last name was!

He knew I liked him and while that was true, I knew nothing beyond that I thought he was cute. What does one do after that?

So, his last name and good looks didn’t wash away any of the horrors of school. Unfortunately, he wasn’t that cute.