Sunday, November 25, 2012

Interference

For this post, you'll need to hum a soundtrack for me. As you read, have the theme song to Jaws playing over and over in your head.

I stepped off the bus one lovely fall afternoon and raced inside the house. I had plans to get my red dodge ball and commandeer Scotty and Kirk into a vigorous game of Crazy Dodge Ball.

As I flew through our small entry, my eyes flashed across my mother who was seated on our piano bench, smiling like she won the lottery. I came to a grinding halt.

"Kara, I have some good news for you," she announces excitedly.

I sit on the couch, a little unsure because my mother's good news is usually weird. For example, one day she was very excited to enlist our help in planting her tomatoes. Another time, she was very pleased to see us dusting our room. Do you get the picture?

She continues to smile, oh so pleased with herself, as she says, "I found you a piano teacher! Your first piano lesson is today!"

I can't breathe for a moment. I stare at her feeling betrayed and suckered. I crumple into a fit of tears and surprise her into upset.

"Kara, dear, you don't understand. You'll love playing the piano. I learned as a child, and I have always regretted quitting."

Then why didn't she take lessons? Why didn't she spend her free time at the piano?

It was horrid. I was doomed to carry out the ideas of my mother, the ones she thought were necessary and good. I had many years left of having my life planned for me...

Oh, the agony.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Dumb-Dumbs

"Look. Can't you see how lovely it leaves your hands?"

"Oh, yes. They are so smooth and soft. It's like you haven't been doing dishes at all!"

I shove my hands into the hot, soapy water. "And you won't believe how quickly it removes grease from all your pots and pans."

Maria takes the pan I just finished washing and rinses it off under the faucet. "My goodness! Look at that shine!" she exclaims.

"Wait until you see the last glass. This soap will work until the very last dish is done," I proclaim.

"You don't have to replenish the water and soap at all?"

"Oh, no! Dawn does the work and keeps on working."

We proceed to show our customers exactly what we mean and finish the dishes. Of course, we are at our own kitchen sink, and our only customers are whatever insects are passing by the kitchen window.

We stand on stools as we clean each fork, pot, and plate. Our commercial for the support of Dawn dish soap continues until we are done.

What an accomplishment! All the dishes from supper are clean, we didn't have to refill the sink with new water, and our hands are still soft. Aren't we amazing for choosing the right dish soap?

Hey, wait a minute....

Did we just get suckered into doing a chore? Why, yes. Dumb-dumbs....

Monday, November 5, 2012

Ode To Apple Butter

Oh, apple butter.
Oh, how I love you.
Your apple cinnamony sweetness gives happiness so true.

The way you melt with peanut butter is so fine,
I cannot wait until you get in that mouth of mine.

When I see you sittin' on my grandma's table,
my stomach growls and is unstable.

Until I can spread you on a biscuit so fluffy,
my temperament is terrible and I'm a little huffy.

Oh, apple butter.
Oh, how I love you.
Thank you for the sweetness that always rings true.