Every once in awhile we are given rare opportunities to be angels on earth. It is in these moments we find out how selfless we are. It is a greater test than one of our physical stamina, though sometimes being selfless takes physical strength.
My mother has been tested to the limits of her endurance throughout her life. Why that is, I cannot tell you. God has his reasons for things and it is pointless to analyze, explain, or question. He does not make mistakes...
I haven't written about Bill and his medical condition for a few months. This is to mirror how it was for me as a child...done...over...a thing of the past.
That is a luxury we have as children. We don't have to pick up pieces, do damage control, smooth ruffled feathers, or dry tears. Our parents, on the other hand, have to see a problem through to its end.
There were lots of doctor visits, tests, sleepless nights, prayers, and medicine. I am sure she was on edge for 15 months, waiting for seizures, and praying they would stop.
Detecting a seizure in an infant is almost impossible. Often doctors miss them even while the child is in their care. I know my mother watched my brother like a hawk, noticing every twitch, every day dreamy expression, willing God to allow her to see within Bill and predict when and where it would happen.
I know this because I could feel it within her as a child. Often I prayed for her as much as I did Bill. I may not have liked church, but I used the direct line to God to exhaustion.
Whenever I think back on what my parents must have gone through, I am always awed. I used to wonder how they captured the strength to get through those years.
As a thirty-six-year-old I now know from where they drew their strength...
A phenomenal emotion. Powerful. Determined. Selfless and true.
Some of you might disagree with me and say it was God that gave them the strength, but you are forgetting what God is. He is love. God is love.
So, it was love that gave my mother the ability to lie on a gurney in Sunday dress, hose, and heels with Bill laying on her torso, not moving a muscle for three hours straight because it was the best and most peaceful sleep he'd had in awhile.
My mother...love weakened her and strengthened her...and she did great things.
"And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. And the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13