Febrile Convulsions…
That was what the doctor called them. I didn’t know that as a child, of course. My next memory of Bill and his health dealt with the giving of his medicine. (In a teaspoon of applesauce.)
I do know, that after that day, I was more by his side than ever before. I wasn’t waiting for something to happen again. I wasn’t scared.
I was soaking up him. Because, in my six-year-old mind, Bill was fine. He was smiling and playing and doing all the things he used to do. I thought it was all over, and I wasn’t going to waste a second.
But, it wasn’t. He continued to have seizures until he was two. Grace went with my mom for some of his doctor visits and Mom told me the Febrile Convulsions may not be the root of the problem.
He might have an immature brain stem. It would develop over time, but there was no telling what it would do to him in the long run.
It is important to tell you that I didn’t know about the brain stem concern until I was 13. Mom also told me, at that time, that the doctors said he wouldn’t be able to walk or talk.
But, the only effects I saw from those horrible tremors was a boy who concentrated really, really hard on crawling, and climbing, and walking, and talking.
If he hadn’t been so determined maybe it wouldn’t have happened. And, of course it didn’t happen the normal way. The walking, the talking…it all has its own story.
People called this his struggle and his triumph.
And, I might agree with them…but I think it was harder to grow up with four women in the house…
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Saturday, September 3, 2011
All Is Not Quiet On The Homefront
An ear-splitting scream shoots through my brain. My eyes flash open and I see pink walls and my mother bolting to the door…
My bedroom was pink.
I know…yuck.
But, I shared that room with my sisters and they liked pink, so I endured it for their sake.
I am still in the first grade and still taking naps, but I think my mother just made us lay down because she was tired, and on this particular day my cousin was visiting.
This was her first time to visit and spend the night with us. We were all very excited and probably screaming and running all through the house.
Hence, the nap.
We were all lying down in our pink bedroom. My mother, too. I had my eyes closed, but I wasn’t asleep.
Still, the scream from Bill’s room would’ve woken me even if I’d been dead.
My mother shot up and crashed through the room, flying to the door and to Bill. I knew something was wrong. I could tell by his scream. He sounded like he was hurt, but how could that be? He was in his crib.
I followed Mom.
I know I did, but I don’t remember how she got to the living room with Bill. And I don’t remember our neighbor, Miss Holly coming over. She was there, though, beside my mom and watching Bill’s every breath.
And then, I watch my mother, holding nine-month-old Bill in her lap as his eyes roll back into his head.
She cries his name, calling him back to her, her tone conveying a fear that wrenches at my heart and trembles in my blood.
Bill’s eyes were white. Not brown. They rolled and the bottom dropped out of my stomach.
Mom stuck her finger down his throat, and he vomited. I know now that she was keeping him from swallowing his tongue.
I was paralyzed. My thoughts, my body…frozen. All I knew was a fear so acute I could barely breathe.
My sisters and cousin were gone from my mind, as I watched my mother struggle helplessly. I knew the ambulance was coming. In the fog that was my thoughts, I heard Mom say that to Miss Holly.
At some point, I came back to myself…someone had to check on the girls…
I left the living room and went down the long hallway to my pink bedroom where my sisters and cousin were waiting.
I don’t know their impressions of this day now that they are adults, but I remember having to answer a bunch of questions.
Is Bill gonna be ok? Is he hungry? Why won’t he stop crying? Why is Miss Holly here? Can I go home to my house?
I did the best I could and half-way through their questions I realized I was calming down. My sisters and my cousin needed me and that helped me focus.
The ambulance was coming, Miss Holly was with my mother, and Bill was still crying…so he was breathing.
I stayed with the girls. I don’t remember the ambulance arriving, or anything else that day.
However, some images are very striking. So much, in fact, that when I think of that day…I am there.
An ear-splitting scream. Rolling eyes. Tortured cries. Vomit.
And pink walls. Cotton candy pink…
My bedroom was pink.
I know…yuck.
But, I shared that room with my sisters and they liked pink, so I endured it for their sake.
I am still in the first grade and still taking naps, but I think my mother just made us lay down because she was tired, and on this particular day my cousin was visiting.
This was her first time to visit and spend the night with us. We were all very excited and probably screaming and running all through the house.
Hence, the nap.
We were all lying down in our pink bedroom. My mother, too. I had my eyes closed, but I wasn’t asleep.
Still, the scream from Bill’s room would’ve woken me even if I’d been dead.
My mother shot up and crashed through the room, flying to the door and to Bill. I knew something was wrong. I could tell by his scream. He sounded like he was hurt, but how could that be? He was in his crib.
I followed Mom.
I know I did, but I don’t remember how she got to the living room with Bill. And I don’t remember our neighbor, Miss Holly coming over. She was there, though, beside my mom and watching Bill’s every breath.
And then, I watch my mother, holding nine-month-old Bill in her lap as his eyes roll back into his head.
She cries his name, calling him back to her, her tone conveying a fear that wrenches at my heart and trembles in my blood.
Bill’s eyes were white. Not brown. They rolled and the bottom dropped out of my stomach.
Mom stuck her finger down his throat, and he vomited. I know now that she was keeping him from swallowing his tongue.
I was paralyzed. My thoughts, my body…frozen. All I knew was a fear so acute I could barely breathe.
My sisters and cousin were gone from my mind, as I watched my mother struggle helplessly. I knew the ambulance was coming. In the fog that was my thoughts, I heard Mom say that to Miss Holly.
At some point, I came back to myself…someone had to check on the girls…
I left the living room and went down the long hallway to my pink bedroom where my sisters and cousin were waiting.
I don’t know their impressions of this day now that they are adults, but I remember having to answer a bunch of questions.
Is Bill gonna be ok? Is he hungry? Why won’t he stop crying? Why is Miss Holly here? Can I go home to my house?
I did the best I could and half-way through their questions I realized I was calming down. My sisters and my cousin needed me and that helped me focus.
The ambulance was coming, Miss Holly was with my mother, and Bill was still crying…so he was breathing.
I stayed with the girls. I don’t remember the ambulance arriving, or anything else that day.
However, some images are very striking. So much, in fact, that when I think of that day…I am there.
An ear-splitting scream. Rolling eyes. Tortured cries. Vomit.
And pink walls. Cotton candy pink…
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Dyno-mite!
From where she sprang, I do not know, but she had to come from The Glass Is Half-full Chantilly Lace And A Pretty Face Dance Like No One Is Watching It Doesn’t Matter If People Know What Color Your Underwear Is, Texas.
She’s always got her hair let down and a deck of cards ready to go. She can cook as well as her mother and has a smile that melted her father’s heart.
She married her high-school sweetheart…he didn’t stand a chance, and raised two boys who fancied themselves members of the Galactic Alliance.
I’ve seen her do the “Roam Around”, learned several things about the birds and the bees from her jokes, and found out she is the only living person who got my mother to say “fart” spontaneously.
She is unsinkable like Molly, uninhibited like Gypsy Rose, prissy like Mary Poppins, precocious like Shirley, and giving like Melanie Hamilton.
She is the glue that holds my dad’s family together. She is the noise when the silence must be broken. She is the smoother of ruffled feathers, the champion of spades, hearts, and pinochle and second only to Grandma in Scrabble.
She is my aunt. The youngest of four, her older siblings all boys, she cracks a whip that bites with humor and kindness and I have craved her company all of my life.
Laughter is the best medicine. Anyone who says differently needs to know my aunt. No one leaves her without feeling fine and glad to be alive.
So, I shall call her Evaline, an English name meaning “life”, for a woman who is an inspiration to all who spend their lives too much in their own head.
Thank you, God, for creating her. You not only broke the mold when you did, but whatever cooks the mold probably broke, too!
Hug, hug, kiss, kiss, Aunt Evaline!
She’s always got her hair let down and a deck of cards ready to go. She can cook as well as her mother and has a smile that melted her father’s heart.
She married her high-school sweetheart…he didn’t stand a chance, and raised two boys who fancied themselves members of the Galactic Alliance.
I’ve seen her do the “Roam Around”, learned several things about the birds and the bees from her jokes, and found out she is the only living person who got my mother to say “fart” spontaneously.
She is unsinkable like Molly, uninhibited like Gypsy Rose, prissy like Mary Poppins, precocious like Shirley, and giving like Melanie Hamilton.
She is the glue that holds my dad’s family together. She is the noise when the silence must be broken. She is the smoother of ruffled feathers, the champion of spades, hearts, and pinochle and second only to Grandma in Scrabble.
She is my aunt. The youngest of four, her older siblings all boys, she cracks a whip that bites with humor and kindness and I have craved her company all of my life.
Laughter is the best medicine. Anyone who says differently needs to know my aunt. No one leaves her without feeling fine and glad to be alive.
So, I shall call her Evaline, an English name meaning “life”, for a woman who is an inspiration to all who spend their lives too much in their own head.
Thank you, God, for creating her. You not only broke the mold when you did, but whatever cooks the mold probably broke, too!
Hug, hug, kiss, kiss, Aunt Evaline!
Monday, August 1, 2011
May The Force Be With You
While we’re on the subject of Lou, I should introduce the rest of his family.
Lou and my dad have been friends since the first grade. He married my dad’s sister and had two sons…some of my most favorite people.
I loved, loved, loved my cousins! They were my heros!
The oldest was sweet and calm, protective and understanding. He reminds me of Luke Skywalker, all charm and kindness with the ability to take on the bad guy.
The youngest was outrageous and energetic, bold and sarcastic. He reminds me of Han Solo, willing to be a hero as long as he can break the rules while he’s saving you.
Luke and Han were my role models at the very early age of 6. I wanted nothing more than to do everything they did. (I taught them patience, I think.)
Spending time with Luke and Han was a treat and something I frequently begged for. (I don’t think they were always very flattered.)
But, they loved me and we are still pretty close even today. Luke and Han…those are really great names for them. (Tee hee!)
Oh, yeah, and they have a mom. Well, of course they have a mom! She is my dad’s sister and my aunt.
And…
There is no way I can write about her today. She needs a whole entry all to her pretty, crazy self! Stay tuned!
Lou and my dad have been friends since the first grade. He married my dad’s sister and had two sons…some of my most favorite people.
I loved, loved, loved my cousins! They were my heros!
The oldest was sweet and calm, protective and understanding. He reminds me of Luke Skywalker, all charm and kindness with the ability to take on the bad guy.
The youngest was outrageous and energetic, bold and sarcastic. He reminds me of Han Solo, willing to be a hero as long as he can break the rules while he’s saving you.
Luke and Han were my role models at the very early age of 6. I wanted nothing more than to do everything they did. (I taught them patience, I think.)
Spending time with Luke and Han was a treat and something I frequently begged for. (I don’t think they were always very flattered.)
But, they loved me and we are still pretty close even today. Luke and Han…those are really great names for them. (Tee hee!)
Oh, yeah, and they have a mom. Well, of course they have a mom! She is my dad’s sister and my aunt.
And…
There is no way I can write about her today. She needs a whole entry all to her pretty, crazy self! Stay tuned!
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Play Ball!
I always knew when we were going to Grandma and Grandpa’s because there were all these hills on the freeway. You know, those hills that make room for the roads underneath them…
However, even though there were a bunch of those hills, we weren’t going to Grandpa’s. Instead, my dad was taking me and Maria somewhere else entirely.
When we got there, I was speechless. For ten seconds.
“OH, MY GOSH!”, I yell. “THAT’S ONE BIG, ROUND BUILDING!”
Don’t know what it is? I’ll give you a hint…they called it the eighth wonder of the world.
Still don’t know? Well, it’s the Astrodome.
My dad and my uncle were taking me and Maria and my cousins to a baseball game. An Astros game.
They were now, officially, the coolest people ever!
I got to eat peanuts, and cotton candy, and see people who were on T.V. Not to mention participate in all the cheers going on in that noisy place. There was one I remember yelling at the top of my lungs. A trumpet would sound and then everyone yelled, “CHARGE!”. I had no idea how ball players were supposed to charge, but I yelled it. I’m pretty sure the Boys of Summer could hear me, too.
My uncle, we’ll call him Lou on account of the great Mr. Lou Gehrig, had no idea what he started, but I soon began a love affair with baseball and the Astros. I will forever remember that day, sitting in the stands watching my team, yes, MY TEAM, win. And we stayed for the whole game.
Throughout the years, Lou took me to other sporting events, but I will always remember that first one as the best one. Not only was it a fantastic day, but he thought of me. He didn’t take me to a fancy ballet, or some trussed up tea party.
He knew me way better than that…
However, even though there were a bunch of those hills, we weren’t going to Grandpa’s. Instead, my dad was taking me and Maria somewhere else entirely.
When we got there, I was speechless. For ten seconds.
“OH, MY GOSH!”, I yell. “THAT’S ONE BIG, ROUND BUILDING!”
Don’t know what it is? I’ll give you a hint…they called it the eighth wonder of the world.
Still don’t know? Well, it’s the Astrodome.
My dad and my uncle were taking me and Maria and my cousins to a baseball game. An Astros game.
They were now, officially, the coolest people ever!
I got to eat peanuts, and cotton candy, and see people who were on T.V. Not to mention participate in all the cheers going on in that noisy place. There was one I remember yelling at the top of my lungs. A trumpet would sound and then everyone yelled, “CHARGE!”. I had no idea how ball players were supposed to charge, but I yelled it. I’m pretty sure the Boys of Summer could hear me, too.
My uncle, we’ll call him Lou on account of the great Mr. Lou Gehrig, had no idea what he started, but I soon began a love affair with baseball and the Astros. I will forever remember that day, sitting in the stands watching my team, yes, MY TEAM, win. And we stayed for the whole game.
Throughout the years, Lou took me to other sporting events, but I will always remember that first one as the best one. Not only was it a fantastic day, but he thought of me. He didn’t take me to a fancy ballet, or some trussed up tea party.
He knew me way better than that…
Thursday, July 14, 2011
A Typical Day
Kara needs a kick ball. She can’t find it. Oh, yeah! She kicked it over the fence. She dashes over to the neighbors and collects her beloved red ball and now sets out to put together her dream team.
Maria is collecting the Childcraft Encyclopedia books, getting ready to play school. Hmm, today they will work on animals, she thinks. Two desks are set up in her room and now all she needs are students.
Wendy has piled every doll she owns onto her bed. She is singing to them and loving on them and hoping someday they will come alive and call her Mommy.
Bill is sitting in the living room, watching his mother fold the laundry as he bangs two Hot Wheels cars together. His dimpled smile shows how happy he is to be playing.
Jack is in the garage, looking for nails. He is going to nail boards to the tree for the steps to his tree house. Soon, there will be carpet put in and a cooler up there for snacks. Everyone will be welcome, except for the girls, of course.
Roxi is pulling a dress out of her dress-up trunk. She puts it on, along with a hat, and high heels and admires her gorgeous reflection. Already her style and taste are beyond her years.
Lela is pulling out her plastic kitchen supplies, preparing to cook a meal for anyone with enough imagination for pretend spaghetti. Her little kitchen is correctly appointed with all the necessary supplies and now all she needs are customers.
Georgie runs in from the living room and announces to his mother that he needs pipe cleaner, a paper plate, a rubber band, and green paint. As Grace scrambles to provide, he dashes outside to continue digging his hole that will eventually reach China.
Phillip has piled up all the leaves in his backyard. It is the perfect amount to provide a soft landing and to completely hide him…should the need arise. He’d like to see China, but Georgie can do the digging.
Alex is wearing her sequins and white gloves and is in the correct pose. The Flashdance album blasts her with, “Oh, What A Feeling”, and she busts into her newly choreographed number.
Blossom is in her room, ignoring the music and lining up her pretty ponies. All the colors of the rainbow, she gets out a brush and begins to comb through their manes, humming to herself. But, not humming, “Oh, What A Feeling”.
Now, imagine all of us in the same room…
As Jo would say, “They’re all geniuses and Pablo Picassos!”. Grace just laughs and shakes her head, and Mom hopes we don’t kill each other.
Maria is collecting the Childcraft Encyclopedia books, getting ready to play school. Hmm, today they will work on animals, she thinks. Two desks are set up in her room and now all she needs are students.
Wendy has piled every doll she owns onto her bed. She is singing to them and loving on them and hoping someday they will come alive and call her Mommy.
Bill is sitting in the living room, watching his mother fold the laundry as he bangs two Hot Wheels cars together. His dimpled smile shows how happy he is to be playing.
Jack is in the garage, looking for nails. He is going to nail boards to the tree for the steps to his tree house. Soon, there will be carpet put in and a cooler up there for snacks. Everyone will be welcome, except for the girls, of course.
Roxi is pulling a dress out of her dress-up trunk. She puts it on, along with a hat, and high heels and admires her gorgeous reflection. Already her style and taste are beyond her years.
Lela is pulling out her plastic kitchen supplies, preparing to cook a meal for anyone with enough imagination for pretend spaghetti. Her little kitchen is correctly appointed with all the necessary supplies and now all she needs are customers.
Georgie runs in from the living room and announces to his mother that he needs pipe cleaner, a paper plate, a rubber band, and green paint. As Grace scrambles to provide, he dashes outside to continue digging his hole that will eventually reach China.
Phillip has piled up all the leaves in his backyard. It is the perfect amount to provide a soft landing and to completely hide him…should the need arise. He’d like to see China, but Georgie can do the digging.
Alex is wearing her sequins and white gloves and is in the correct pose. The Flashdance album blasts her with, “Oh, What A Feeling”, and she busts into her newly choreographed number.
Blossom is in her room, ignoring the music and lining up her pretty ponies. All the colors of the rainbow, she gets out a brush and begins to comb through their manes, humming to herself. But, not humming, “Oh, What A Feeling”.
Now, imagine all of us in the same room…
As Jo would say, “They’re all geniuses and Pablo Picassos!”. Grace just laughs and shakes her head, and Mom hopes we don’t kill each other.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Look Out, Boys!
Two girls were introduced into our mix. They enjoyed various types of dance, so they fit right in.
And now, we really outnumbered the boys!
The oldest was my age and we became quick friends. She became friends with Jack, too, and was often the tie breaker in our schemes.
The youngest was in between Maria and Roxi and had every My Little Pony a girl could wish for.
Our circle was getting bigger and bigger was better in my mind. They had great ideas for plays and recitals, and didn’t mind playing Hide-and-Seek, so when Maria got bored we didn’t have to stop because of the low number of hiders.
They went to our church, too. Everything always seemed to center around church.
The oldest loved the album “Flashdance” as well as the movie. We danced to that album I don’t know how many times. (I never saw the movie until I was older, though. My mom wouldn’t let me watch it.)
I am going to call her Alex after the girl from that movie. Her younger sister, I am going to call Blossom, on account of all the ponies she had.
They were, and are beautiful girls. Witty, lively, and VERY smart, we ruled the boys!
And that was awesome!
And now, we really outnumbered the boys!
The oldest was my age and we became quick friends. She became friends with Jack, too, and was often the tie breaker in our schemes.
The youngest was in between Maria and Roxi and had every My Little Pony a girl could wish for.
Our circle was getting bigger and bigger was better in my mind. They had great ideas for plays and recitals, and didn’t mind playing Hide-and-Seek, so when Maria got bored we didn’t have to stop because of the low number of hiders.
They went to our church, too. Everything always seemed to center around church.
The oldest loved the album “Flashdance” as well as the movie. We danced to that album I don’t know how many times. (I never saw the movie until I was older, though. My mom wouldn’t let me watch it.)
I am going to call her Alex after the girl from that movie. Her younger sister, I am going to call Blossom, on account of all the ponies she had.
They were, and are beautiful girls. Witty, lively, and VERY smart, we ruled the boys!
And that was awesome!
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